Sunday 26 January 2014

Happy Republic Day! jokes

Happy Republic Day!

Picture SMS jokes

Let's cherish and treasure the freedom earned by the freedom fighters at the cost of their own lives.

Happy 26 January!

शराबी की मजबूरी? Hindi jokes

एक शराबी सड़क के किनारे बहुत ज्यादा पीने के कारण लगभग बेसुध सा पड़ा हुआ था।

एक भले आदमी ने उसके पास आकर पूछा, "`आखिर इतनी ज्यादा पीने की क्या जरूरत थी?"

शराबी: मजबूरी थी पीने के अलावा और कोई चारा ही नहीं था।

भला आदमी: आखिर ऐसी क्या मजबूरी हो गई थी ?`

शराबी: बोतल का ढक्कन गुम हो गया था।

My Computer!!! JOKES

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user...

Help-desk: Mam, please double click on 'My Computer'.

Lady: I can't see your computer.

Help-desk: No... Click on 'My Computer' on your computer.

Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ?

Help-desk: There is an icon labelled 'My Computer' on your computer... double click on it.

Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ? The help-desk boy put down the phone.

26 January JOKES

26 January
The Republic Day is the occasion to celebrate the sovereignty of India. It was on this day that the Constitution was adopted. The event features a grand parade by the armed forces and performing artists, known as the Republic Day Parade.

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Saturday 25 January 2014

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Act Like a Gentleman! JOKES

One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose.

Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd.

"You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman? "

"NOT ANYMORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY."

The Poor Chap! JOKES

Ek ladke ki shaadi ek bahut hi khubsurat ladki se fix hui.

Woh dono hamesha WhatsApp par baatein karte rahte the.

Phir kuch time ke baad dono ki shaadi ho gayi. First night ko ladke ne jab ladki ka ghoongat uthakar: Tum wakai bahut hi khubsurat ho... Tumhe kya gift karun...

Ladki sharmati hui boli: Humto toh aap taa Dill Taaiye.....

Bechaara ladka, Whatsapp ki jagah ek call kar leta to bach jaata.....

A Lesson in Logic! JOKES

"This is a lesson in logic," said the old professor in the teahouse. "If the show starts at nine and dinner is at six, and my son has the measles, and my brother drives a Cadillac, how old am I?"

"You are eighty-four," replied Mulla Nasruddin promptly.

"Right," said the professor. "Now tell the rest of the fellows here how you arrived at the correct answer."

"It is easy," said Nasruddin. "I have got an uncle who is forty-two, and he is only half nuts. You must be eighty-four."

Girl's Reactions! JOKES

Reactions of a Girl without a boyfriend:
1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro meine..!
2) Mere liye mere gharwale important hain aur unke saamne boyfriend kuch bhi nahi...!
3) Sab Ladke Ek Jaise Hi Hote Hain..!!

Same Girl after having a boyfriend:
1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar, uske siway kuch nahi dikhta ab mujhe..!!
2) Gharwalon ko manana padega kaise bhi, I can't leave him and mein uske bin nahin rah sakti..!!
3) Wo baaki ladkon ki tarah nahi hai, he loves me a lot..!!

Wedding Speech! JOKES

Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws:

My dear new family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new house...

Firstly I must tell you that my presence here should not change your life routines...

Those who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it... Those cooking must keep cooking... Those cleaning must keep cleaning... I'll not disturb anybody's routine...

So far as I'm concerned, I'm here only to:
Eat BUN,
Have FUN and
Entertain yiur SON!!!

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